suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
