I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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