i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
