I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
