i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
