dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
