Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm getting married
To pizza
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
