Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Are we in a gay sports bar?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
