I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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