Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
