Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
