apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
