I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
