Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
