She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
