dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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