it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
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