btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I have tasted many bathrooms
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