I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
