Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
