i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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