Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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