Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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