hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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