also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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