Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
