We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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