Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
