how can u be prego again
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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