My friends, they love my intelligence
it was like his penis was on wheels.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
