i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
