You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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