I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
