Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
