So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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