I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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