I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
