Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
