oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
