I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
