I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
