i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
