:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
