Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
