Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
