Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
