I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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