I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
