my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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