just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
