I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Farmville is her only friend.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
